I had some funny thoughts about how the three subjects above are related. First I thought of Marine Corps food, real meat and potatoes, 4200 calories a day in boot camp and you burned it all off.”You will take one knife, one fork and one spoon. You will take all you want but eat all you take.” No one ever even discussed what was served. You had to jam it down your gullet in 10 minutes.

Then I thought of Andy Rooney who I interviewed last year (HERE I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION- SEE: http://oldnewyorkstories.com and scroll down to Andy Rooney’s oral history).He had a wonderful way of talking about simple things that occur to all of us but he somehow put into words what our thoughts were. I was recently on a plane trip and by good luck I was upgraded to business class. I thought how these three things were connected by airline food and what attendants are told to tell the passengers.

First they hand out the menu which gives you a lot of information about the famous chefs who “cook” for the airlines. Then the experts who pick out the wines and the descriptions of the wines in great detail, smoky flavor, peppery aftertaste, with just a hint of peach and charcoal, or nonsense like that. But the description of food is really over the top. Salmon accompanied by creamy horseradish sauce, why is it “accompanied?” Why can’t it be “with.” Why does the bread have to be assorted rolls? I ordered the Osso Bucco chicken, the WHAT? Yes osso bucco as in hollow ox tails.
The desert was nothing special but the way it was presented by the flight attendant; “Will you be joining us for dessert, Sir?” No, I’ll be leaving the plane in my parachute!

I was sitting next to an Indian gentleman who had a good sense of humor. When the flight attendant left, I got up and walked around. When I returned I said to him, “I went for a walk on the wing. It’s very cold out there.” He replied “Very windy sir, I assume it was also very windy .”

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