I have a wonderful dentist. I’ve had the same one for 20 years. He is expensive but very professional. there is only one problem. My teeth are ugly. I have a snaggle tooth (no braces when I was a kid) and they don’t look pretty. They are however, like iron. As someone said once about Aaron Harris, the meanest man in Chicago, “He could chew up pig iron and spit out razor blades.”

I never have cavities, never root canal, and always a great disappointment to my dentist. Lately he has been trying two new tricks to increase his 401K. He says “you need a new set of xrays.” I tell him I don’t believe in xrays, they are dangerous and when I have a problem with my teeth I and he will know it. The other thing he has been suggesting is that if I don’t get “deep cleaning” – read $1,000- I may have to go to a periodontist. I told him, $1,000 was much to much. He indicated that maybe, for me, $500. I told him “no soap.”

My father had lousy teeth, always breaking off on some hard food but I must have gotten my teeth from the other side of my family. Anyway I am happy with my teeth and intend to keep them as long as possible. I’ve posted below a famous cartoon by Peter Arno for the New Yorker Magazine. It tells it all.

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