Common side effects of xxxxxxx include upset stomach, mild heartburn, stomach pain, diarrhea, constipation, bloating, gas, dizziness, headache, nervousness, blurred vision, and ringing in the ears. This is not a complete list of side effects that can occur. Using xxxxx can increase the risk of serious side effects, such as heart attack, stroke, and bleeding from the digestive tract. The risk of heart attack and stroke increase with long-term use of xxxxx. Seek emergency medical attention if you experience chest pain, weakness, shortness of breath, slurred speech, or problems with vision or balance. Bleeding from the digestive tract can happen at any time during treatment with xxxxx. Contact your doctor right away if you have any symptoms of bleeding from the digestive tract, such as black, bloody, or tarry stools, or coughing up blood or vomit that looks like coffee grounds.

Welll the xxxxxx can be used for things as common as Aleve or even Advil. And of course you know what happens if you use Viagra. Well all this got me thinking about a party I went to a few years ago. the hostess asked the guests to bring along some writing that had impressed them to read to the guests. Some brought poems, some brought short stories, all very literary. I brought an essay by Steve Martin called Side Effects. the only problem I had was that I couldn’t get through it without completely cracking up. I finally gave up when most people were either deeply offended or couldn’t stop laughing. This probably will go for most of my readers!I wont print it all here but just the first few paragraphs so you get the idea.

Side Effects by Steve Martin:

SAGE: take two tablets every six hours for joint pain. SIDE EFFECTS: This drug may cause joint pain, nausea, head-ache, or shortness of breath. You may also experience muscle aches, rapid heartbeat, and ringing in the cars. If you feel faint, call your doctor. Do not consume alcohol while taking this pill; likewise, avoid red meat, shellfish, and vegetables. O.K. foods: flounder. Under no circumstances eat yak. Men can expect painful urination while sitting, especially if the penis is caught between the toilet seat and the bowl. Projectile vomiting is common in thirty per cent of users-sorry, fifty per cent. If you undergo disorienting nausea accompanied by migraine and raspy breathing, double the dosage. Leg cramps are to be expected; one knee-buckler per day is normal. Bowel movements may become frequent-in fact, every ten minutes. If bowel movements become greater than twelve per hour, consult your doctor, or any doctor, or just anyone who will speak to you. You may find yourself becoming lost or vague; this would be a good time to write a screenplay. Do not pilot a plane, unless you are among the ten per cent of users who experience “spontaneous test-pilot knowledge.” If your hair begins to smell like burning tires, move away from any buildings or populated areas, and apply tincture of iodine to the head until you no longer hear what could be taken for a “countdown.” May cause stigmata in Mexicans. If a fungus starts to grow between your eyebrows, call the Guinness Book of World Records. May induce a tendency to compulsively repeat the phrase “no can do.” This drug may cause visions of the Virgin Mary to appear in treetops. If this happens, open a souvenir shop. There may be an overwhelming impulse to shout out during a Catholic Mass, “I’m gonna wop you wid da ugly stick!” You may feel a powerful sense of impending doom; this is because you are about to die. Men may experience impotence, but only during intercourse. Otherwise, a powerful erection will accompany your daily “walking-around time.” Do not take this product if you are uneasy with lockjaw. Do not be near a ringing telephone that works at 900 MHz or you will be very dead, very fast. We are assuming you have had chicken pox. You also may experience a growing dissatisfaction with life along with a deep sense of melancholy-join the club! Do not be concerned if you arouse a few ticks from a Geiger counter. You might want to get a one-month trial subscription to Extreme Fighting.

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