I’m not a big baseball fan but I did watch the Mets win last night and received an email from the dreaded Montauk Fisherman which in the interest of those who are baseball fans I have copied below. I have not included the whole email because it was actually a copy of an email he sent to a friend, make that former Friend in Chicago, with all his usual profanities.
But before I post it below I noticed that for some reason baseball players have become very hairy. What is it with them? Is it aerodynamics?
The winning pitcher last night Jacob deGrom
“Some history for you and the rest of your Chicago clan:
The Mets have won the World Series twice since the formation of the team: 1969 and 1986. The Cubs played a principal role in both: Please, over the coming days and nights, focus on these facts:
In 1969, your Cubbies had a mid-August NINE GAME lead over the second place Mets. The Cubs choked while the Mets went on a tear and won the pennant by eight games. The seventeen game switch is, of course, historic. Even though that is the year you were born, I want to thank you for that. The Miracle Mets then went on to win the World Series in five games.
When the Mets beat the Boston Red Sox in the 1986 World Series, the Mets fans at the ball park were wearing buttons and t-shirts that said “Boston Sucks.” I am informed by reliable sources that a small small start-up is now working around the clock printing buttons and t-shirts that read “Fuck the Cubbies”. (As you know, the Supreme Court has blessed the language.)
We do have the Cubs to thank for the 1986 Series win too:
Did you know that Bill Buckner (of sainted memory) started out as an out-fielder for the Los Angeles Dodgers, (hah!) and they traded him to your Cubbies, who shifted him to first base? Happily, in 1984, the Cubs traded first baseman Buckner to the Red Sox, where two years later his famous error gave the sixth game to the Mets, who then went on the win the seventh game as well. All hail Buckner and the Cubs!
I am happy for you that you finally have a Jesuit Pope. I saw his helicopter from a distance. It flew right over Citi Field. Uh, I forget, on his recent trip to the United States, did His Eminence visit Chicago?”